Well, it has been quite a long time since I last logged in here. Yesterday I had a panic attack and wanted to find all my old work and I found I'd lost almost all of them due to hard disk failure etc. Then I remembered I had a dA account(because Eil on Facebook posted a link to hers) and now am so thankful I didn't come back and clear everything out like I wanted to ages ago.

I'm in Uni now...studying computer science (multimedia & game design)...a lot of programming... My brain has rusted and I'm just wondering at how I was so "creative" back then... well so creative compared to now...

I remember one of my teachers telling me I shouldn't give up on photography, even as a hobby, but unfortunately I've done that. No time these days and no camera, not even my dad's. No inspiration blah blah.

I hope I haven't lost my ability to express myself in words...it's something I feel I've had since childhood, and something I'd not want to lose.

Looking back,I was so young. I am still young, and awkward and unsure...but I was so young back then...

Wonder how many of my old friends still linger here?

I haven't checked here in a while. School ended and 2 glorious months of holiday began. I took the opportunity to restart WoW (playing at any other time is a waste of my money), and rerolled, starting completely from scratch. Well I haven't played MMORPGs for a while and so learning to play is still a work in progress.

I'm a slow player, I dawdle, walk around, can spend a long time just exploring environments, anyway with my last term of school (ever) having started, its time to shelve my now level 60 character for a while (Though my addicted brain grumbles "Must get dreadsteed money firssttt") to concentrate on getting back into "the school rhythm".

This being final year, ironically will give me a lot more free time than last term, despite it being the most crucial period in my course of study.

So hello to my friends here, especially Sleepywolf (we need to meet more often, <.< ). I wish Alex and Sophie great happiness as well.

I'm not dead, just busy.
But a person I know could well be dead now by her own hand. So my mood swings between cheerful and bleak, like a pendulum. I've got no word, I don't want to know, but I also want to know so badly.

[Edit]Ah she is alive, the attempt failed. She probably is pretty furious at her friends who managed to...stalk her down from the Internet...and managed to convince the police and ambulance to go to her house...in time...

Guan Zhongji’s(wife of Zhao Mengfu) “Love Poem”

尔侬我侬， 忒刹情多。
情多处，热似火。
把一块泥，捻一个你，
塑一个我。将咱们两个，
一齐打破，用水调和，
再捻一个你，再塑一个我。
你泥中有我，我泥中有你。
我与你，生同一个衾，死同一个廓。


The English translation is roughly as follows:

You[尔] call me “thee” [侬] and I[我] call you “thou”[侬],
How very loving[忒刹情多] we are.
When we love[情多处], it is hot[热] like[似] fire.
Take[把] a piece[一块] of clay[泥],
Shape[捻] a[一个] likeness of you[你],
Mould[塑] a[一个] likeness of me[我].
Then take[将] us[咱们] two[两个],
Break us up together [一齐打破],
Use[用] water[水] to mix/blend[调和],
Again[再] shape[捻] another[一个] you[你],
Again[再] mould[塑] another[一个] me[我].
In my clay[你泥中], there is/are[有] you[你],
In your clay[我泥中], there/is[有] me[我].
Me[我] and[与] you[你],
When we live[生], will share[同] one[一个] blanket[衾],
When we die[死], the same[同一个] casket[廓].


I am struck by the beauty of this poem. I feel regretful that my Chinese is sub-standard and I can't read the Chinese words without the hanyu pinyin. And I'm Chinese! >.< A lot of melody is lost in translation really.

I think I'd want calligraphy of this on a scroll if I ever move in to live with someone/get married.
You may need to install Asian language packs if this shows as [][][] to you... I'm surprised and pleased dA is able to parse Mandarin

dA isn't your photobucket for fucks sake. Stupid kids posting game screenshots. And being moronic enough to admit that it's rubbish.